We’re well into football season and I’m about to make a big confession. It’s not going to be popular. In fact, living in a small midwestern town and saying something so absolutely preposterous and offensive could possibly get me stoned to death. The townspeople will soon be at my doorstep with torches and pitchforks, but I can’t keep this truth locked inside me for another moment!
I. Don’t. Like. Football.
(Pause for reaction.)
I’ve never been interested. It bores me to death. I’d rather…do anything else. I told you it would be a controversial admission.
In high school, I attended the football games merely to socialize in the stands. I chose a college that didn’t have a football team (I heart LMU). I love a good Super Bowl party, but again only for the social aspect and the festive food and drink. I even fell for a hunky All-American linebacker, a Texan no less, and he married me despite my complete lack of interest in the sport that so heavily influenced his life.
John loooooves football. If you ask him, which season he likes best, he will not say fall or summer, he will answer, “football season.” And, at least once a month, he dreams that he’s a high school football player and he’s forgotten his helmet or Coach won’t put him in the game.
In the early days of our relationship, John would watch games all Saturday and Sunday (including the highlights before bedtime)(oy vey, that’s a lot of football), and I would lounge next to him reading book after book after book. When the kids were born… that ended for me.
One of those children turned out to be a sports obsessed son. Thank you, Lord, for blessing John with a sports obsessed son.
There have been fleeting moments when I’ve attempted to pay attention to games and at some point realized that my eyes were glazed over, my mouth was hanging open, and my mind had wandered elsewhere. I admit that I only even halfway understand the game, and half the time, I don’t know where the ball is. If the offense fakes out the defense, they have fooled me, as well.
But, now that we live in a state where people religiously fly their OU or OSU flags, and furthermore, in a small-town where the Friday night main event takes place at the high school football field, I feel I should conform.
This is Valentine praying to the football gods. The game baffles us. Help us to understand!
So…This is me committing to the quest of football fandom. Okay, let’s be real. This is me committing to going to the games with my family and trying to like it a little. And, I will happily put out yummy snacks and watch a little bit of football on tv as to interact with my husband a little during the long football season.
In the name of research and motivation, I have assigned myself some homework…
Look, I hunted down a heart-shaped hallow of a tree to show my devotion.
I have also purchased my Skiatook Bulldogs t-shirt from Walmart to wear to the games.
I’m well on my way!
If you see me in the stands, don’t judge me for being an imposter. Give me a thumbs up for my effort.
Watch this video, “The Boys of Fall” by Kenny Chesney. It actually gets me a little verklempt about football!